Thought leader | Dr. Pat Allen, Ph.D.

Oct 24

Dr. Pat Allen, Ph.D.

Psychotherapist · Relationship & Communication Expert · Author · Speaker

If you’re exhausted from being both the wife and the husband in your marriage, Dr. Pat Allen is the one who explains why. A psychotherapist and communication expert with a Ph.D. in psychology, she was one of the first to openly teach about masculine/feminine polarity — decades before it was trendy. What made her famous were her blunt, no-apologies Q&A sessions in Los Angeles, where women lined up to hear her tell the truth about why their relationships weren’t working.

Her message was radical at the time: blurred roles kill intimacy, and passion survives only when masculine and feminine stop competing. She mapped out how masculine energy leads, initiates, and provides structure, while feminine energy receives, nurtures, and responds — and she never apologized for saying so. For women who carry both roles at home, her work is a revelation.

Spotlight: Getting to “I Do”

Topics: Polarity, gender roles, communication, passion in long-term love

Noteworthy Ideas: Passion only survives when masculine and feminine polarity is maintained

What We Use: Her polarity model, her clear framing of masculine/feminine energy, her no-nonsense approach to intimacy

Start Here: Recordings of her live Q&A lectures on YouTube